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Published September 10, 2026

Asian Imposter

What does it mean to be a 'Real Asian’?
Text: It’s the first time I’ve willingly joined a group of other Asian Americans. It’s a cozy night, and my social anxiety reduces to a simmer. Then someone brings up the question of what to name our group—a name that will prove our shared Asian identity. Image: Top half of the page is a group of Asian American women sitting in a living room around a table with food and drink. There is a Palestine flag on the table. Another Asian American woman has entered the home and is in the doorway waving. Everyone has turned to greet her. People have taken off their shoes and set them by the doorway. There is no clear indication of who the narrator is. The bottom half of the page is of a pot of food cooking on a stovetop.
The images and the dialogue are formatted into 3 horizontal sections on the page. One of the women from the group holds up a flip flop and says, “Let’s call our group ‘Shoes Off’!” Other members of the group look at the woman speaking smiling in agreement. One person with glasses raises their hand in thought and says, “Wait, do we all actually take off our shoes in the house?” Another woman drawn only as a very large head says with a laughing mouth, “THE ONLY PEOPLE I KNOW WHO DON’T ARE WHITE!!!” Other people in the group are drawn as smaller laughing heads. The narrator identified by her beauty mark on her cheek is in the corner of the group and looks away ashamed, but tries to laugh along.
The images and the dialogue are formatted into 3 horizontal sections on the page. At the top of the page is the text of the narrator expressing what they felt internally: I want to disappear. But the urge to be honest forces me to raise my hand. The image below is of 3 figures drawn with teary, wavy lines. The first is a figure shedding tears, the second is the figure progressing into a blob, and the last image is of a puddle with an arm raising from it to speak. The image below is of the narrator responding to the question of if everyone takes their shoes off. She says, “Actually, I don’t. I’m adopted. I was raised by white parents.” The image beside the narrator is a smaller depiction of floating heads of the group staring at the narrator. The narrator is embarrassed and has a drop of sweat on their forehead. The bottom last image is the narrator holding their hands up waving them. She says, “I mean I have before…When I was in Japan I did…so it’s fine, really!”
Image: The same portrait as the one as the cover. The narrator is holding a mask that obscures half her face. She has a worried or concerned look. Text: The secret’s out. I am an Asian impostor.
The images and text are formatted into 3 horizontal sections on the page. Text: In Japan, I was incognito. Image: A crowd of Asian people facing forward as if in a school photo. The narrator is hidden amongst them and wears a mask. Text: It felt good. I felt safe. I felt ordinary. Image: 3 images in a row. The first image is of 3 women including the narrator relaxing in an onsen (Japanese hot spring). The second image is of the narrator riding her bike in the Japanese country side with mountains, river, and rice fields. The third image is of the narrator shopping at a grocery store looking at vegetables. Text: I saw myself reflected in the faces of others. Image: A group of children are smiling and amused by the narrator dancing for them. The narrator’s back is to us and her arms are raised in a waving motion.
The images and text are formatted into 3 horizontal sections on the page. Text: Although I was always quickly revealed to be an impostor whenever someone would speak to me. Image: Narrator is boarding the bus in Japan. The bus driver asks: 「バスはおつりないよ」 The narrator is unsure of what he’s saying and responds 「 わかりません 」Two elder women look up at what’s happening and are bewildered. Text: This was to be expected. I was a foreigner in a foreign country. Image: The narrator is at the airport departing. She is waving to her Japanese friends and co-workers. Everyone is wearing a surgical face mask to prevent the spread of covid. Text: In the U.S., I am a foreigner in my own country and amongst my own community. Image: The narrator is back in the U.S. uncomfortably, sitting on a bus in between a man talking loudly on his phone and a woman eating chips. She is the only one wearing a surgical mask. She is depicted much smaller.
Text: As I’ve joined more Asian American spaces, I’ve increasingly been reminded of my otherness. Image: A group of Asian Americans are in a circle. One person is speaking and says, ““I mean we all grew up in Asian households, so we all know that pressure to succeed.” The narrator is on the end of the circle and looks away uncomfortably. Image: Another group of Asian Americans are in a circle. A person says, “As Asians, we feel there is a debt to be owed to our immigrant parents” The narrator again on the end of the circle looks away. Text: I begin to question, should I even be here? Is this even for me? Bottom Images: Narrator walks away towards the left side of the page, exiting the groups. She looks back unsure. Bottom right corner is the narrator’s side profile looking down defeated.
The images and text are formatted into 3 horizontal sections on the page. Text: Like other Asian Americans I get asked the same stupid questions, experience the same stereotypes and mockery, and I am a target of racial violence. 1st Image: A white man speaks to the narrator. The narrator looks past him, unimpressed and annoyed. 2nd Image: 3 children are in a row. The first child pulls his eyes back to mock the Asian girl on the end. The boy in the middle looks over to the Asian girl unsure of what to say or do. 3rd Image: A vigil for the Asian American women murdered in 2021 in Atlanta at the Gold Spa. Their 6 portraits rest among a bed of chrysanthemums.
Text: Even though I share these experiences, I still feel separate from the Asian Diaspora. To be an Asian impostor, is to feel a kind of racial mirroring in others and at the same time be rejected by your own reflection. Image: Shattered, jagged pieces are scattered across the page like fragments of a mirror. An eye is reflected on a piece in the center.
Text: This chasm is born from the erasure of the Asian impostor’s culture, heritage, history, ancestry, biological family, and birthplace. Grief fills the space of what was lost. Image: The narrator is drawn in the center with a solemn expression. Across the page and across the narrator are wavy lines.
Text: To be an Asian impostor is to be uprooted, to float in a liminal loneliness, desperate for belonging but too ashamed to reveal who you truly are—because if you did you would die. Image: A figure is drawn sitting with their face buried in their arms, their arms rest on their legs, their legs are drawn into their chest. The figure is white against a page that is fully black. The darkness almost swallows up the figure.
Image: A diagram of Asian symbols and motifs surround a central image of a paper with a pin in it. On the paper is a black silhouette of a person on it that resembles an anonymous missing person. The diagram resembles a detective’s investigation bulletin board. Symbols include boba, college graduation cap, Labubu, poop emoji, incense, tangerines, Mt. Fuji, taiyaki, name tag, lily pad, boat people, Chinese symbol for longevity, a figure kneeling with a ball and chain, and contemporary kimono-inspired, Japanese jacket. Text: What is it then to be a Real Asian? Is it in your name? What you drink? Is it in the food you eat? To be a high achiever? Is it to take your shoes off in the house? To have filial debt? Is it an aesthetic? The clothes you wear? To have an immigrant story? Is it in symbols? The things you buy? Is it in traditions? Is it in your temperament? What you talk about? Is it in the languages you speak? ありがとう 씨발
Image: Top left corner is an Asian nanny with a black pony tail looking down at a baby she is cradling in a blanket. Bottom right corner is a girl with black hair wearing a satchel over her shoulder. She is climbing a ladder and has one of her arms outstretched, reaching up to collect a star. There are 2 other stars lower on the page in the distance. Text: I do have an immigrant story. Does it still count if I have no memory of immigrating? Or that I was only in China for a few months? Or that I didn’t have a say in leaving? I suffer from perfectionism. My parents never explicitly pressured me to succeed, but constant praise made me equate external validation with my worthiness of being loved.
Text: I feel indebted to my parents, not because they were forced to make momentous sacrifices, but because they “saved” me from an impoverished life. I am the grateful adoptee indebted to my saviors. What to do with all of these complexities? What happens when we see identity and culture as unstable and impermanent? What to do with all of these complexities? What happens when we see identity and culture as unstable and impermanent? Image: A girl with black hair sits on a swing with a pensive expression. The swing is suspended in the sky over abstract, wavy lines on the bottom of the page.
Text: Similarities and shared experiences exist among Asian Americans and so do differences—including my lived experience as an adoptee. It is important to remind myself that this is not a bad thing. What is harmful is to believe that there is only one real way to be Asian. When Asians are said to be xyz—that is to be prescribed a supposed cultural authenticity, ambiguity and creative possibility are flattened into all/or nothing categories. Image: Top of the page are two half circles rippling toward the bottom of the page and intersecting with each other. Bottom left corner are 3 figures with their bodies contorted in uncomfortable poses as if they were put inside a box they barely fit in.
Text: Cultural authenticity demands culture to be static and dictates who gets to belong and who doesn’t. When this power is wielded by the state, a monolithic Asian identity is weaponized to create good Asians who uphold capitalist heteropatriarchy. This singular Asianness is an Orientalist construction, sold back to us as if it were our own authentic Asian culture. Anyone who veers off script is excluded from the community and deemed as bad, inauthentic, and/or irrelevant. Difference is exterminated. Image: From the bottom of the page and rising upwards are people protesting for various social justice causes. People have their fists raised and are wearing keffiyehs. A central figure has a megaphone speaker and is shouting into it. The megaphone has a Palestinian flag sticker on it. There are various protest signs that say: Liberation Everywhere, Palantir Out!, Protect Trans Kids, Fuck ICE, From the River to the Sea, and Land Back.
Text: When I recognize that life is always transforming, that the world is absurdly both/and, it becomes clear… Image: A naively drawn bouquet of flowers with their stems intertwined. Some flowers are upright and thriving while others are wilted over.
Text: There is no Real Asian. She is a myth. I cannot be an Asian impostor because... Image: In the bottom right corner is a naively, childlike drawing of a person with short black hair in profile, walking to the right of the page. They are smiling and no clothes are drawn.
Text: I am a vast experience. Image: This is a spread where the image spreads across two pages. The image is of the narrator floating on her back, naked. She has her arms and legs extended as if she were making a snow angel. Watery lines ripple out from her body. Her eyes are closed. Her expression is soft, grounded, and unwavering. Her hair is also floating upward away from her ears at the top of her head.Page 2 of spread
Text: I do not find belonging in easy stories. I am not only reflected in eyes that look like mine. Image: Two naively, childlike drawings of 2 figures. The first figure is at the top of the page and is a diver wearing swim flippers. They are diving downward with their black hair flowing behind them. The second figure is the diver in side profile holding an open clam and looking at the pearl inside.
Text: I find love by connecting to what feels true in my body, in the wisdom of those who dare to imagine new worlds, and through shared struggle. Image: A group of the narrator’s friends and the narrator herself. People depicted include Asian American femmes and non-binary folks, a friend wearing a hijab, a non-binary Black friend wearing a bucket hat, friends wearing keffiyehs. The narrator is wearing a black and white checkered jacket, earrings, and has medium length hair.
Text: I relinquish the myths that were never mine to begin with, and I create the stories that connect me to my power. Image: A naively, childlike, abstract drawing of a woman with flowing hair leaping into the air with her arms upright in a “Y” shape. Her eyes are closed and she is smiling.
Thank you to Yumi Sakugawa for their Cosmic Comfort, to Mimi Khúc for saving my life, and to Chad Shomura for all the laughs and tears we share. Image: A small doodle is underneath the acknowledgements. The doodle is of a naively, childlike drawing of an unclothed figure with long black hair laying on their back.

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