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Published January 15, 2025

Never Enough

Growing up in a fatphobic culture, I got the message that my body was never good enough.
Panel 1 of a 26-panel black and white comic. Portraits of a woman in picture frames at ages 6, 15 and 31. Narrative text reads, “I’ve been fat or overweight for most of my life.”
Panel 2, a woman in a black tank top at the beach, touching her throat and saying, “Hmm…this clam chowder is making my throat feel weird.” Narrative text reads: “the only time I wasn’t was when I was literally afraid to eat most foods following a food allergy incident.”
Panel 3, two face masks and a cover of the New York Times with a headline that reads, “US Deaths reach 100,000, An Incalculable Loss.” Narrative text reads: In the past few years, a lot has changed. I don’t need to tell you that.”
Panel 4, a woman in a black bra trying on a too-small pair of jeans, standing in front of piles of clothes and saying, “Huh. These jeans fit last Fall…” Narrative text reads: “A side effect of many of these changes is that my body also changed. Most obviously, it grew.”
Panel 5, a box of Snackwell Devils Food cookies. Text underneath reads, “Episode: Snackwells Cookies.” Narrative text reads: “Part of navigating my relationship with my body has involved listening to Maintenance Phase, a podcast where the hosts research and discuss things like fad diets and how doctors don’t listen to their fat patients.”
Panel 6, a child doing a cartwheel in a patch of grass. Narrative text reads: ”a recent episode covered how the American Academy of Pediatrics released new guidance on how doctors should advise obese children to lose weight.”
Panel 7, a child in a black shirt surrounded by four word bubbles. The word bubbles read “according to the BMI you are obese. If you don’t get fit now, it will only get harder when you’re older! How much aerobic exercise do you get a day? You have to cut back on all those cakes and cookies and chips!” Narrative text reads “there are many issues with this guidance but one thing I couldn’t stop thinking about is if adults have difficulty advocating for themselves at the Doctor how is a child supposed to navigate that?”
Panel 8, a child sitting in a chair as a doctor looks over her shoulder. Narrative text reads “it made me think about an experience I had going to the doctor when I was nine or 10. I had a fatty hump on my back and it worried me so my pediatrician advised my mom to take me to a specialist.”
Panel 9, a daughter and mother in a car. The daughter is on the left looking at the mother who is on the right driving the car. Narrative text reads “I was excited to go. I hated my hump and I was hopeful. The doctor could make it go away. But I didn’t get an answer that day. I got told I was fat.”
Panel 10, the back of a child sitting in front of two medical professionals. The professional on the left is saying “patient has excess hair growth here.” Narrative text reads: “the doctor and a medical student walked into my examination room. They proceeded to examine me like a specimen, like I couldn’t hear them.”
Panel 11, a child in an undershirt and underpants sitting on an examination table, looking at her stomach and saying, “oh yeah, that’s my hairy spot!” Narrative text reads: “commenting on my body and taking notes on a clipboard.”
Panel 12, a female doctor’s face and upper body. She is wearing glasses, a lab coat and a stethoscope and she is saying “so I understand we’re here to talk about your weight.” Narrative text reads: “when they were finished the doctor finally spoke directly to me – and it was not what I expected.”
Panel 13, a child in an undershirt and underpants sitting on an examination table, saying “ I guess… But also my back hump.”
Panel 14, a doctor wearing glasses, a lab coat and a stethoscope asking, “What did you eat for lunch today? Bologna sandwich? Do you even know what that’s made of?” Narrative text reads: “She then proceeded to ask me a series of patronizing (even for a child) questions.”
Panel 15, a Doctor wearing glasses, a lab coat and a stethoscope saying, “of course you don’t. There’s no bologna animal! You should only eat food you can identify – fruits, veggies, and lean meats.”
Panel 16, a child looking sad and insecure, wearing an undershirt and underpants and sitting on an exam table saying, “Ohh…Kay”
Panel 17, a graph labeled “body mass index for age percentile: girls 2 to 20 years.” Next to the graph is text reading, “ this chart was the bane of my existence as a child and gave me so much anxiety. They showed it to me at every doctor visit.” Narrative text reads: “I was obese. I was at risk. My future was at stake. My back hump must have just been another side effect of my horrendous fat body.”
Panel 18, a child in an undershirt and jeans looking into a mirror as she is squeezing her belly and looking upset. Narrative text reads: “it didn’t matter that I had an undiagnosed thyroid condition and anxiety, or that most folks in my family struggle in some form with their weight. All that mattered was somehow I needed to not be fat anymore.”
Panel 19, an older version of the child from the previous panel now all grown up, looking in the same mirror. Narrative text reads: “the conversation around weight and weight loss has changed quite a bit since I was a fat child.”
Panel 20, seven people. On the top left is a person with short hair a black shirt and jeans; next to them is a person in a plaid shirt and jeans with a beard and short hair; next to them is a person with glasses in a wheelchair; next to them is a person wearing exercise clothes and a sweatband doing a stretch; on the bottom row of people the leftmost person is wearing a spaghetti strap black dress, and has short hair. The person next to them is wearing jeans and a shirt and is waving their hand. The person next to them is in a two piece swimsuit and is waving. Narrative Text reads: “there is a lot more vernacular around body acceptance, and more positive representation of larger bodies in the media.”
Panel 21, a child wearing a bedazzled shirt and culotte pants. surrounding the child are text bubbles describing what the child is wearing. Text bubbles clockwise read, “pretend undershirt bib thing; some sort of glitter bead, appliqué; too long sleeves; no child should be made to wear an adult women’s culottes.” Narrative text reads, “I’m fortunate enough to be able to buy clothes that fit me that I like as opposed to my time being a child wearing business casual from Lane Bryant.”
Panel 22, a magazine cover titled Lady Mag. On the cover is a plus size person with curly hair wearing a black spaghetti strap dress. Surrounding them are text bubbles that read, “your body is good at any size, why fat isn’t a bad word, and cute clothes for anybody.” Narrative text reads: “I think often about what it would have been like to have this positivity when I was younger instead of the thin – only rhetoric of the 90s and 2000s.”
Panel 23, the cover of the American Academy of Pediatrics report which reads, “Actually you need to stop being fat right now.” Narrative text read: “But then something happens like the American Academy of pediatrics saying that obese kids age 13 and up should consider bariatric surgery, a serious medical procedure, to curb their weight, and I wonder how much has really changed.”
Panel 24, a child and her older self holding hands. Both are wearing shirts with hearts on them and jeans. Narrative text reads: “ I wonder how I survived it. Wonder at my 31 year-old body and everything and has done and has yet to do.“
Panel 25, an adult woman, dancing and singing Burning Down the House, surrounded by music notes. Narrative text reads: “marvel at how it keeps me safe, does the things I love to do.“
Panel 26, a drawing of a scale. Narrative text reads: ”Wonder why that can’t be enough?”

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