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Published June 25, 2025

OCD and Me

Sometimes I feel like my brain is only half mine.
Page 1 of a 20 page comic. Panel 1 shows Scott in the driver's seat of the car. He’s hunched and worried. Underneath it reads, “I never learned to drive.” Panel 2 is just the sidemirror of a car. In the reflection is the silhouette of a small child next to a ball. Blood is leading away from him towards the car. Underneath it reads, “Because I knew I’d hit a kid.”Page 2 of 20 The image is the entire page. A hairy hand is cutting a cucumber into slices. The slices fan out around the arm of the hand where they warp into cut bloody fingers. In the middle it reads, “When I helped with dinner…it was easy to see the veggies become my fingers.”Page 3 of 20 Panel 1 shows Scott walking on a sidewalk surrounded by black trees. He is nervous and in a hoodie and beanie. Underneath it reads, “I used to walk alone at night.” Panel 2 shows the same trees looming over him, their branches becoming eyes that stare down at Scott. He looks back up at them in fear. Underneath it read, “But too many trees were watching me.”Page 4 of 20 Panel 1 Scott is now shirtless, top surgery scars visible, looking away from his reflection in the mirror. Beside the mirror is the text, “Don’t look in mirrors at night.” Panel 2 Scott has turned away completely, his face pensive. In the mirror his reflection has now become black and turned to watch him leave. Beside the mirror is the text, “Something will look back.” Panel 3 shows the reflection’s head leaving the mirror. It is shadowy and smoke like while still loosely resembling Scott’s silhouette. Beside the reflection surrounded by a grey box is the text, “Probably a truth you don’t want to know.” Know is emphasized in white.Page 5 of 20 The image is the entire page. It’s a close up of Scott’s face while he draws, cheek resting in his right hand. His eyes are closed and above his glasses is a circle with his brain inside. The brain is divided into two halves; one is grey with a white figure inside, the other is white with a black figure inside. Above his head it reads, “My brain is only half mine.”Page 6 of 20 Panel 1 depicts Scott standing looking worried, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Behind him in his shadow is his reflection from earlier, now looking nothing like him. In three phases it grows to hang over him. Above the reflection in warping text it reads, “I try not to mind the other guy.” Panel 2 shows Scott turning his head to look away from the reflection, now fully upside down so they are face to face. It taps on Scott’s right shoulder. Above it reads, “But he’s quite persistent.”Page 7 of 20 This page is three separate images overlapping and flowing into each other. Image one shows Scott hugging the outline of a figure with no discernable features. Its arms are wrapped around his neck and Scott is holding it’s back and shoulder. To the right it reads, “I want to be close to people.” Image two shows that the figure has pulled away from Scott, still holding his shoulders as it’s back begins to blow away in a smoke like form. Scott’s face is mournful and his hair is blown by a wind. Above it reads, “To love and be loved.” The last image shows Scott’s whole body standing with his arms outstretched. The figure is now just a column of grey smoke. All you can see left are its two hands drifting away from Scott. Between them it reads, “But they’ll disappear when I finally face myself.”Page 8 of 20 It’s a full page. Scott is shirtless in bed staring up at nothing, his hands across his chest. Beside him another figure is rolled over sleeping, only his hair and ear visible. Surrounding Scott in varying fonts are rows of text reading, “I’m bisexual right? I love my husband! No you don’t. Fine, fine, fine. I’m still bisexual. You want to be female. Huh, no I don’t. Lesbian. Straight. You hate gay people. I love my husband. I love me. I am bi. Underneath Scott in bed in huge scary letters reads, “OBEY.”Page 9 of 20 A full page with two separate images that flow into each other. Image 1 depicts a mirror. Scott is shirtless in the reflection of the mirror lifting up his hair. He is worried. In front of the mirror a faucet pours water that turns black, leading into the other image. Above it reads, “I look in the mirror. There’s a crack in my head.” Image 2 is a close up of Scott’s eyes shaking with dread. Across his forehead is a black, zigzagging, smoking crack. The water from the faucet above flows into and becomes this crack. Above and curled around his head is the text, “The other half leaks out.”Page 10 of 20 A full page with Scott in the middle. Around him various people are moving, some distracted while others look at each other. Scott is dressed in full black, the shine of his glasses covering his eyes, and his expression unreadable. Above it reads, “I am vividly aware of the world going on without me.”Page 11 of 20 A full page image showing Scott standing on the forehead and nose of a giant person. Their hair flows out behind them, framing Scott’s shocked face looking up. The person’s eyes are wide and instead of irises there are clocks. Underneath the clocks across the insides of both eyes it reads, “We fear time most of all.”
Page 12 and 13 of 20 One image spread across two pages. There are multiple Scotts, each of them a key frame of him running closer to the reader and towards a giant clock. The closer he gets to the clock the more his skin disintegrates, with the final Scott touching the clock and becoming a skeleton. In giant text that follows Scott and gets bigger as he does it reads, “Tik tok, tik tok, tik tok.”
Page 13, continuation of page 12
Page 14 of 20 A full page image that is a close up of Scott’s left eye, the clock from the page 13, staring at the small skeleton of himself touching the clock center.Page 15 of 20 A zoomed out image of page 14 showing Scott’s whole face. Where skeleton Scott touches giant Scott’s eyeclock a light is blasting, fading out both of them.Page 16 of 20 A full page image of white surrounding the drawing of a brain in the middle of the page. Inside it’s divided into two symmetrical halves. On one side is a man made of white surrounded by black and on the other is a man made of black surrounded by white. The two men are embracing as lines between them blur their forms together.Page 17 of 20 A full page with four images flowing into each other. Image 1 shows Scott brushing the hair away from his now crackless forehead, a smile on his face. Above it reads, “I wake up. The crack is gone.” Image 2 shows Scott putting on a shirt, his tummy exposed and his head just poking out of the top. Image 3 shows Scott carrying a basket of laundry, fully dressed. Image 4 shows Scott curled up under a blanket, his knees pulled up to prop up the ipad he’s drawing on. Beside him are two cats, one sitting to his left and looking at him and the other curled up sleeping. To the right it reads, “I go about my life.”Page 18 of 20 Panel 1 shows Scott and two other men outside together. To Scott’s right is a man with long dark hair, glasses, and a polka dot button up shirt. One eyebrow is raised and he’s staring at Scott with playful puzzlement. To Scott’s left is a man with puffy hair, an earring, and a regular t-shirt. He is talking to them both with a smile while Scott grins at him. Above in a white box it reads, “It’s beautiful outside. I’m with my loved ones.” Panel 2 is a close up of Scott’s face smiling and looking loving. There’s a heart to his left. To the right it reads, “And I’m still me.”Page 19 of 19 A full page showing both men and Scott walking together, their backs turned. The man with the puffy hair has a hand on Scott’s back and all three men are talking and smiling. Above it reads, “At least I have today.”

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