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Published June 12, 2025

Coming Out of the Storm

The Pulse nightclub was the first place that felt like home for me as a queer person—then the shooting happened.
Page 1, Panel 1 begins with a drawing of a LiveJournal entry titled: “Unhappy Pride 2010” with a Lady Gaga profile picture. The body says, “Honestly I don’t see the point of being out and proud. I don't know if I ever could be. I feel hopeless about finding a girlfriend or even boyfriend again. Anyway my sis took off work for Pride and we’re going to a club tonight with her friend. Maybe something will happen then? Alright g2g get ready!” Underneath the post, there’s a “Current Mood: Apathetic” and “Current Music: Dance in the Dark by Lady Gaga.” There is a link in the corner that says, “2 Comments, Leave a Comment.” Page 1, Panel 2 starts with a left caption, “As an anxious 22-year-old recovering from a breakdown, I was questioning everything.” Near the caption is a drawing featuring the back of Nie wearing a striped sweater and looking at a ringing phone. They are wearing a rainbow bracelet and seated in front of a laptop, stack of books, mug, lamp, and notes with a reminder “Meds at 5PM.” The right caption reads, “I had just transferred to a new college and wanted to get my life back on track.” Page 2, Panel 1 contains a drawing of Nie with short, ruffled black hair and olive skin. They answer the phone on their shoulder and look apathetic. A speech bubble says, “Hey Ames.” A caption underneath the panel reads, “I also wanted to look and feel more queer, so I chopped my hair and wore a rainbow bracelet.” Page 2, Panel 2 contains a drawing of Nie fussing with their hair, the rainbow bracelet in sight from their wrist, and closing their laptop. A speech bubble from the phone says, “Hi Nie! We’re here!!!” A caption underneath the panel reads, “It made me feel even more self-conscious.” Page 2, Panel 3 contains a drawing of Nie closing a door. A speech bubble says, “Ok, see y’all soon!” Page 2, Panel 4 contains a drawing of Nie walking through a door attached to a long empty hallway, the rainbow bracelet in sight from their wrist, with an exit sign above. Page 2, Panel 5 contains a drawing of Lake Eola Park at night in Orlando, Florida. A fountain in the middle of the lake is shooting water and decorated in rainbow colors. A caption underneath the panel reads, “Anxiety’s a lot like Florida storms: always looming on the horizon. Still, I kept going, hoping it would eventually pass”Page 3, Panel 1 contains a drawing of Nie, Ames, and Ames’ friend. Ames has fair complexion and wears a ruffled bun, black dress, and huge hoop earrings. Ames’ friend is also fair skinned and wears a tied up ponytail and an open buttoned up shirt. The three are inside a car with Ames driving, the friend in the passenger seat, and Nie in the back. A speech bubble from the friend says, “Make a left turn next…” A second speech bubble from Ames looking at Nie and asking, “Hey, how was the last EQUAL* meeting?” There’s a note on the left side of the panel that explains EQUAL is the Gay Straight Alliance, or GSA, at college. A third speech bubble from Nie says, “Well…” A caption underneath the panel reads, “Thanks to my sister inviting me out with her friends, I started feeling less stuck in my head.” Page 3, Panel 2 contains a drawing of a close-up of Nie fussing with their hair and the rainbow bracelet in view. Nie looks dejected and answers in a speech bubble, “I kinda left halfway… again.” A speech bubble coming off screen from Ames reads, “There’s always next time!” A caption underneath the panel reads, “She had been out since high school while I stayed closeted until college.” Page 3, Panel 3 contains a drawing of Ames and her friend talking from their seats. Nie’s in the rearview mirror. A speech bubble from Ames reads, “I wish I showed up more.” Another speech bubble from Ames’ friend says, “Going to a Pride party counts! And don’t forget to turn left!” A caption underneath the panel reads, “Our parents weren’t supportive, so I avoided bringing it up. But she and I bonded more once we realized we were on the same side.” Page 3, Panel 4 contains a drawing of the group standing outside and walking toward a nightclub called Revolution. A speech bubble from Ames says, “Sooo is this it?” A speech bubble from Ames’ friend answers, “Yeah! It’s gonna be sooo packed!!!” The right caption reads, “It felt right celebrating our first Pride together.” Page 4, Panel 1 contains a drawing of the inside of Revolution. There are mostly men hanging around and the club appears uncrowded. A caption underneath the panel reads, “At the time, there weren’t many LGBTQ+ spaces in Orlando, FL. “The Rev” was underwhelming to say the least.” Page 4, Panel 2 contains a drawing of an annoyed Ames and Nie. A speech bubble from Ames says, “Packed, huh?” A speech bubble from Nie asks, “Where’s everyone… else?” A speech bubble from Ames’ friend says, “Hold up! I know another place!” Page 4, Panel 3 contains a drawing of Nie in the backseat of a car with the window rolled down, hair flying in the air. A speech bubble off screen from Ames’ friend says, “Hurry up, they’re gonna start charging cover!” Page 4, Panel 4 contains a drawing of the outside of Pulse nightclub and several cars. A left caption reads, “My first queer nightclub experience was really at Pulse.” A speech bubble off screen from Ames says, “I’m trying! There’s no damn parking!”Page 5, Panel 1 contains a drawing of the group walking inside an empty room of the nightclub. Nie is fussing with their hair. A caption underneath the panel reads, “My nerves were getting the best of me. The GSA was the only queer space I had known.” Page 5, Panel 2 contains a drawing of the group in a new room with the exit sign above them. Nie is smiling. A caption underneath the panel reads, “Then I took one step into the first room…” Page 5, Panel 3 begins with a left caption, “And it was a total sensory overload.” It continues with a drawing of a room packed with diverse people having fun. One person with pigtails is holding a rainbow colored fan. In the middle of the room is a bar and on the bartops are two dancers. Nie and Ames are watching. A right caption reads, “Pulse lived up to its name, and the vibes were immaculate.” Page 6, Panel 1 contains a drawing of people dancing in another room and strobe lights. Ames is lifting a glass with a drink and her friend smiles back. A caption underneath the panel reads, “Before I knew it, I was moving to the music and totally immersed.” Page 6, Panel 2 contains a drawing of drag queen Roxxxy Andrews with a spotlight and a speech bubble that says, “Hellooo Orlando!” Several people are watching her on stage and one person is holding up a phone taking a photo. Page 6, Panel 3 begins with a left caption, “I could feel everyone living life to its fullest.” The panel contains a drawing of various people dancing or watching others dance. Strobe lights and a disco ball are shining in the room. Page 6, Panel 4 contains a drawing of diverse people dancing, kissing, and raising their hands. A rainbow is flowing across the panel and sparkling. The right caption reads, “And for the first time in a long time, I felt free and pure joy.”Page 7, Panel 1 contains a drawing of Nie dancing and carefree. The background is covered in a rainbow with sparkle. A caption underneath the panel reads, “All my worries faded away…” Page 7, Panel 2 contains a drawing of Ames stumbling, holding an empty glass, and looking ill. A speech bubble from Ames says, “Oof… I don’t feel so good…” Nie looks worried. A caption underneath the panel reads, “If only for a moment.” Page 7, Panel 3 begins with a speech bubble by Nie saying, “Hey! We gotta go!!!” The panel contains a drawing of Nie making a hand gesture to leave. Ames’ friend is with a long haired girl. A speech bubble from Ames’ friend says, “Y’all go on! I’ll catch a taxi later.” Page 7, Panel 4 begins with a speech bubble by Ames saying in Spanish, “Lo sientooo!” meaning “I’m sorryyy!” The panel contains a drawing of Ames and Nie walking through a door with an exit sign above their heads. Nie holds their sister around the shoulders. A speech bubble by Nie responds, “Nah, it’s all good.” Page 7, Panel 5 contains a drawing of Ames and Nie inside their car. Pulse nightclub is in view of the back. Nie is driving and slightly smiling. A caption underneath the panel reads, “We left early, but I held that moment close.” Page 8, Panel 1 contains a drawing of the Orlando Pride parade and various people standing around. A few are holding up a giant rainbow flag being carried along the street. A caption underneath the panel reads, “That night had opened the door to Orlando’s LGBTQ+ scene for me. Eventually I made my way through every space, but I loved bringing people to Pulse the most.” Page 8, Panel 2 contains a drawing of Nie with slightly longer hair, Ames, an acquaintance, and a drag queen out of drag all smiling and posing together for a photo inside Pulse nightclub. A caption underneath the panel reads, “It was always good times, good music, and good drag shows.” Page 8, Panel 3 contains a drawing of Nie with two friends, posing together for a photo inside Pulse nightclub. A caption underneath the panel reads, “I felt more comfortable with my queerness – something I once thought I could never be.” Page 8, Panel 4 contains a drawing of Nie’s high school friend tipping a dancer at Pulse nightclub. A caption underneath the panel reads, “The last time I went to Pulse was January 2016 with an old high school friend.” Page 8, Panel 5 contains a drawing of Nie and their high school friend posing for a photo in front of a bar at Pulse nightclub. A caption underneath the panel reads, “It was just as fun as my first time. I never imagined it’d be the final night.”Page 11, Panel 1 contains a drawing of the outside of the Art Institute. A rainbow Progress Pride flag is flying from the museum and the lion is in view. A caption underneath the panel reads, “A month after, I visited Chicago for the first time as an escape. I thought my life was finally back on track and the tragedy made me briefly question it all again.” Page 11, Panel 2 contains a drawing of abstracted rectangles. A caption underneath the panel reads, “It could have been us” was haunting me. The storm again on the horizon.” Page 11, Panel 3 contains a drawing revealing the space to be the inside of the Art Institute at an empty gallery. A caption underneath the panel reads, “Anxiety was ready to undo my progress with those five words.” Page 11, Panel 4 contains a drawing with a rainbow-colored pile of candy on the floor up against a wall. The artwork is titled “Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)” by Félix González-Torres. A caption underneath the panel reads, “We lost our people. We lost our safe space.” Page 11, Panel 5 contains a drawing of Nie looking over inside the gallery. A caption underneath the panel reads, “How do we move forward from something like this?” Page 12, Panel 1 contains a drawing of Nie bending over and reaching to the pile of rainbow candy on the floor. A caption underneath the panel reads, “I’ve seen firsthand that living authentically is not only possible, but powerful.” Page 12, Panel 2 contains a drawing of Nie picking up one piece of rainbow candy from the pile. A caption underneath the panel reads, “Over the years, I was inspired by so many people living bravely as themselves.” Page 12, Panel 3 contains a drawing of a purple candy in Nie’s hand. A caption underneath the panel reads, “I sought community and found it.” Page 12, Panel 4 contains a drawing of Nie’s hand gripping the purple candy. A caption underneath the panel reads, “I’ll never take it for granted now.” Page 12, Panel 5 begins with a borderless panel containing three pieces of candy, colored pink, purple, and blue. The right caption reads, “I owe it to them to live fully as who I am too.”Page 13, Panel 1 contains a drawing of the outside of Roscoe’s Tavern in Chicago, Illinois. There’s a rainbow colored crosswalk leading to the bar. A caption underneath the panel reads, “Into my thirties, I felt ready to leave Orlando behind and chose Chicago as my new home. A weekend getaway driven by anxiety ended up changing my life.” Page 13, Panel 2 contains a drawing of Ames and Nie with other patrons standing in front of the Roscoe’s stage. A caption underneath the panel reads, “Wherever I go, I’ll carry the memories of Pulse.” Page 13, Panel 3 contains a drawing of Nie looking over their shoulder. A caption underneath the panel reads, “I’ll remember learning to find the spaces made for us.” Page 13, Panel 4 contains a drawing of Nie looking over their shoulder at a faded exit sign hovering above a crowd. Page 13, Panel 5 contains a drawing of Nie looking relaxed next to a smiling Ames. Page 14 begins with a caption, “I’ll also always remember to live fearlessly.” It contains a drawing of drag queen Roxxxy Andrews on stage with various diverse people in the room having fun. Nie and Ames are embracing in the corner. A sparkling rainbow stretches across and off the panel.

 

 

This comic was created through Crucial's volunteer editing process. It was edited by Audra McNamee and Mattie Lubchansky. 

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