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Published May 17, 2025

Naked and Afraid of Long COVID

I started thinking of my long COVID as a survival reality show.
Panel 1 shows a truck driving through a grassy landscape with bushes and hills in the background and a small, dead tree in the foreground. Dramatic hand-lettering meant to signify a voiceover reads, “TANZANIA: During the dry season, EVERYTHING that lives here is in a CONSTANT BATTLE to SURVIVE.” The caption below the panel reads, “I started watching Naked and Afraid on a whim about a year after I got sick and immediately became obsessed” Panel 2 shows a muscular man with a goatee and a crew cut. He’s wearing a t-shirt and sitting in the front seat of an open-air truck, elbow propped on the window frame. His head is turned to look out at the landscape. He says, “This is a totally new environment - I’ve never seen anything like it.” The caption reads, “Survivalism had never really been an interest of mine” In Panel 3, a woman in a tank top is sitting in the front seat of a different vehicle, her long hair blowing in the wind. Her face is turned to address the reader. She says, “It’s scary, honestly. Everything out here wants to kill you.” The landscape behind her is grassy, with a distant line of trees on the horizon. The caption reads, “But prior to my illness, I was a high-energy, adventurous, outdoorsy person” Panel 4 shows the goateed man in profile. Shadows from the truck’s roof bars fall over his face and back. He says, “I’m totally confident I’ll make it to 21 days. I’m not leaving this challenge early unless it’s on a stretcher.” The caption reads, “I was an endurance athlete with a high tolerance for pain, discomfort, and extended physical suffering”Panel 1 shows the woman in her vehicle, looking out at the terrain. A driver with sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat sits next to her. She says, “I hope my partner comes in with a good mindset because we’re really going to be relying on each other.” The caption reads, “I had intense desires, strong preferences, and a powerful drive for connection” Panel 2 shows a landscape dotted with trees and grass from above with the word “AFRICA” in large, 3D block letters sitting in the middle. Around that word, dramatic hand-lettering meant to signify a voiceover reads, “Together, these two will have to WORK TOGETHER to SURVIVE for 21 days in one of the HARSHEST environments in the WORLD…” The caption reads, “And after a year of mysterious symptoms and crushing fatigue, I really missed that version of myself” At the top of Panel 3, dramatic hand-lettering meant to signify a voiceover reads, “BOTH survivalists have undergone RIGOROUS evaluation.” Below the words, the man and the woman pose near each other in front of a backdrop of icebergs and water. The woman is wearing a baseball cap, a rain jacket, a neck warmer, and pants, and has her hands in her jacket pockets; she is smiling slightly. The man is wearing a t-shirt and baggy pants; his arms are crossed and he is scowling. The words “Skill,” “Experience,” and “Mental” surround them in shaded bubbles. The caption reads: “The premise of Naked and Afraid is simple: two strangers get dropped into a remote wilderness area with no clothes, no food, and almost no gear” Panel 4 shows the man standing next to a tree, reaching into bag slung over his shoulder and saying, “I think I’ve got the map.” He is naked except for a choker adorned with what looks like a large square bead at the base of his throat. The back of the woman’s head and her left shoulder is visible on the right of the frame. The caption reads, “They wear necklaces containing microphones and carry bags that conceal their mic pacs” Panel 5 shows a woman strapped to a stretcher with her eyes closed and her arms folded over her stomach. She is being carried by someone wearing an unzipped hoodie; their face is not visible. Above her, dramatic hand-lettering meant to signify a voiceover reads, “At base camp, a LOCAL DOCTOR will perform an EXAMINATION.” The caption reads, “Participants can voluntarily ‘tap out’ of the challenge at any time and producers can ‘medically tap’ participants if they face a life-threatening health risk” Panel 6 shows the man and the woman scaling a rocky cliffside. The man is bracing himself on a rocky cliffside as he reaches down to grab the woman’s hand and pull her up. He says, “Careful… watch your step…” The caption reads, “Otherwise, both participants must survive at their designated location for 21 days before making their way to a designated ‘extraction’ point.”A caption at the top of the page reads, “This basic formula has produced a familiar set of well-worn tropes and cliches over the course of its 17-season run, and the structure of any given episode has four parts” Below the caption, there are four square panels of explanatory text, each shaded green with a semi-transparent background image. The background image in the first panel is a truck driving away toward the horizon, and the text reads, “Prologue - Insertion: The participants meet each other, learn which survival items they’ve been granted, and hike to the spot they’ve chosen for base camp.” The background image in the second panel is the man drinking from a pot, and the text reads, “Act 1 - Baseline Survival: The participants struggle to achieve adequate shelter, fire, and safe drinking water; this process can drag on indefinitely but is usually accomplished within the first three days.” The background image in the third panel is the woman with her forehead pressed against her knees, and the text reads, “Act 2 - Extended Suffering: The participants endure hostile environmental factors, starvation, and each other for two and a half weeks.” The background image in the fourth panel is the man and the woman hiking with walking sticks, and the text reads, “Act 3 - Extraction: The participants make their way via land or water to some predetermined point where transportation awaits to take them out of the experience.” Below the four square panels, a caption reads, “Despite - or perhaps because of - the utterly predictable beats of each episode’s storyline, it’s oddly compelling, and although I’m watching from the depths of my couch, the participants’ struggles often seem all too familiar.” Below that caption, there is a long panel showing a living room with a large TV. A person’s crossed ankles are propped up on the couch in the foreground. There’s a side table with a mug on top to the left and a coffee table with a set of three tea candles on it to the right. Against the back wall, there are two tall, square lamps on either side of the television. The image on the TV screen is a landscape with lots of trees and hills, and the word “SURVIVE” in all caps block letters in the middle of it.The word “Prologue” is written in large, 3D block letters across the middle of the page. There is a zebra standing with its head turned to the side in the bottom right quadrant of the page.Panel 1 shows the man opening the door of the open-air truck. He says, “Guess this is my stop.” The driver to his right is wearing a baseball cap. The caption reads, “The Prologue (Insertion) is all about encountering the unknown: a new environment, a new person, and the attendant possibilities and pitfalls” Panel 2 shows the man with his arms over his head; he is in the process of removing his t-shirt. He says, “Take a good look, America.” The caption says, “Vulnerability is the dominant theme in this brief but captivating portion of the story” In Panel 3, the bed of the truck takes up the foreground of the image. Metal bars extend upwards from its sides, framing the man as he prepares to toss his shirt inside. He says, “Time to make Mother Nature my bitch!” The caption reads, “The macho ex-military guy can posture as much as he wants” Panel 4 shows the woman from the waist up in profile as she steps out of her vehicle. Strands of hair blow into her face. She says, “Being naked really doesn’t bother me.” The caption reads, “And the crunchy homesteader can insist on her spiritual connection with the land until she’s blue in the face” Panel 5 shows the wheels of a vehicle and the woman’s legs. She’s standing on one foot as she removes her shorts. Her speech bubble says, “I wander around naked at home all the time.” The caption reads, “But as soon as they take off their clothes, the viewer can see how weak, defenseless, and unprepared they truly are” In Panel 6, there’s a leafy branch in the foreground on the left hand side of the image. The woman stands in the middle of the image, naked. Her chest and groin are concealed by pixelated blurs. She says, “Definitely feeling pretty exposed right now, though.” Only the corner of the vehicle is visible on the right hand side of the image. The caption reads, “And that’s before they even lay eyes on each other, at which point a fresh wave of palpable insecurities arise”Panel 1 shows the woman in profile from the chest up, one arm uplifted as though to balance herself as she passes by a thorn bush. She says, “I’m excited but nervous to meet my partner. I hope we get along.” The caption reads, “My illness made my own body into a stranger.” Panel 2 shows the man in profile from the chest up, frowning. He is now wearing a necklace with a square bead in the middle. He says, “I hope she’s a hard worker. I don’t want to carry the team by myself.” The caption reads, “It transformed from something I could depend on completely to an unreliable, untrustworthy thing” Panel 3 shows the woman looking up. She says, “Oh god, this is going to be so awkward.” The thorn bush is still visible over her shoulder, and her hair has shifted so we can see that she is also now wearing a necklace with a square bead. The caption reads, “It’s not that I had a totally harmonious relationship with my body prior to Long COVID - far from it” Panel 4 shows the man from the waist up, frowning less intently. He says, “I think I see something.” The caption reads, “But at least I knew what it needed; where its limits fell; what it could really for me when push came to shove” Panel 5 is a long panel that takes up the whole bottom row. There is a single large tree in the middle with many branches. The woman approaches from the left and the man approaches from the right; both raise their hands in greeting. The woman calls, “Hey, another naked person!” and the man responds, “Looks like we wore the same outfit!” The caption reads, “After getting sick, I was dealing with a totally different beast”In Panel 1, the woman and the man shake hands in front of the tree. The woman, smiling, says, “So, what do you say? You ready for this?” The caption reads, “For weeks and then months after my acute infection, I struggled with brain fog, nauseating malaise, and crushing fatigue” Panel 2 shows the man from the shoulders up, smiling with one eyebrow raised. He says, “Oh, I was born ready.” The caption reads, “Early on, there were days when I could barely sit up to eat (not that I had much of an appetite anyway)” Panel 3 shows one hand holding a crude map with a compass, two hills, a tree, a river, and two animals drawn onto it. Another hand points to the river from the upper righthand corner of the panel. The person pointing says, “This looks like it could be a good spot, don’t you think?” The caption reads, “I found myself struggling to focus, process information, and recall specific words - not ideal for a professional writer and editor” Panel 4 shows the two people from above as they walk away from the tree. The man is in front and says, “Oof, I’m not used to this kind of heat.” The woman replies, “I know, right?” The caption reads, “The most inconsequential activities - doing the dishes, taking the dog out, answering emails - sapped my energy completely” Panel 5 shows two sets of legs walking. The man’s are further down the path; the women’s legs are in the center of the panel. She says, “Even the ground is scorching.” The caption reads, “I kept waiting for the sickness to just… go away, but it never did” Panel 6 shows the woman’s back with the strap of a bag slung over her left shoulder. Her hair is pushed in front of her shoulders. Ahead and to her right, the man looks up at the sky and says, “Wish we had some shade.” There’s a bush and a bare tree trunk behind him. The caption reads, “Every time I thought I might be getting better, it was inevitably followed by another turn for the worse”Panel 1 shows the man and the woman from behind. The man points toward the horizon and says, “See that treeline? There must be water over there.” The woman replies, “It’s so far…” The caption reads, “I couldn’t shake the notion that my inability to heal was a personal failing” In Panel 2, there are two bushes in the background and several thorny branches in the foreground. The woman’s hand is visible, pinching the stem of the branch between the thorns and pulling it away from her leg. Her speech bubble says, “Ow! Shit. Damn, that hurts.” The caption says, “For all my intellectual commitments to disability justice, I felt deep down that my illness was an individual problem” Panel 3 shows the woman’s lower leg and foot hovering in the air above some tall grass; she has reached down to take hold of her big toe. Her speech bubble says, “Got another thorn in my foot.” The caption reads, “And not just a failing, but an abandonment - by myself, of myself” In Panel 4, the man and the woman are walking uphill through clumps of grass and rocks. The man, slightly ahead and to the left of the woman, is partially concealed by a large bush with long, thorny branches sticking out from it. He says, “We must be close. The caption reads, “After all, if I wasn’t the strong, smart, all-capable version of myself, then who was I?”A cheetah runs down the side of a rocky outcropping with its tail raised. “ACT 1” is written on the rock in large, 3D block letters.Panel 1 shows the man standing on a rocky shore looking out at a stream. He says, “Water! Finally!” There’s a tree with crooked branches in the foreground on the left and some boulders and tall grass on the right, as well as a large clump of trees on the other side of the stream. The caption reads, “Act I (Baseline Survival) is all about problem-solving and adaptability” In Panel 2, the woman looks at the man and asks, “You want to start on the fire while I work on the shelter?” The man, smiling at her, says, “Sure.” The caption reads, “Survivalists must race against sleep deprivation, hypothermia, heat exhaustion, dehydration, and primal fear to secure their basic needs” Panel 3 shows the man from the waist up, telling the reader: “I’ve probably made hundreds of friction fires in my life. I’m not worried about it at all.” A branch with small leaves pokes into the top of the frame above his head. The caption reads, “Three months after my acute infection, I got an appointment at a Long COVID clinic, which resulted in referrals to a vast array of medical specialists” In Panel 4, the man sits on a boulder surrounded by thick foliage and other boulders. He is hunched over, knees splayed out, gripping a stick with both hands and rubbing it against a flat piece of wood that he keeps in place on the ground with his feet. He says, “C,mon…” The caption reads, “But after countless appointments and tests, little progress had been made” Panel 5 shows the woman from the neck up, addressing the reader. She says, “I’m relying on my partner’s skills when it comes to fire. He says he knows what he’s doing, so I hope that’s the case.” The caption reads, “I did receive some broad diagnoses, along with a pile of prescription meds and vitamins” Panel 6 shows the man’s upper body shaking with the effort of generating friction. He’s scowling and he exclaims, “Damn it!” The caption reads, “But no one could isolate a specific, treatable condition, and whatever benefit I experienced from the supplements was incremental and temporary”Panel 1 shows the woman bending to place a stick against a wall of other sticks. She says, “So, it’s Day 2, and we still don’t have fire, which is scary…” The caption reads, “This cycle of treatment - try something new, start feeling better, dare to hope for full recovery, start feeling worse again - has continued ever since” In Panel 2, the woman carries a large branch overhead with both hands. There is a tree trunk to the left, and the stream is visible behind her. She says, “But all I can do is keep reinforcing our shelter to try and keep us safe.” The caption reads, “I’ve consumed hours of YouTube videos and podcasts and read dozens of journal articles” Panel 3 shows the man’s feet holding the wooden board as he keeps rubbing the stick into the deep groove in the middle. A speech bubble says, “Let’s try this again.” The caption reads, “I’ve attempted stringent elimination diets, intermittent fasting, regimens of Chinese herbs, and a regular meditation practice” Panel 4 shows the man’s upper body shaking with effort. His gaze is focused downward and he’s frowning in concentration. He says, “C’mon baby, you can do it.” The caption reads, “I’ve spent thousands of dollars on reiki, acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, and other alternative treatments” In Panel 5, the man’s hands are clenched into fists and his face is turned up to the leaves of the tree above him as he yells, “Goddammit!!” The caption reads, “The most successful of these experiments have provided a mild salutary effect, but any positive trend in my energy is short-lived” Panel 6 shows the woman turned toward the man, asking, “What’s up?” The man, standing apart from her next to a tree and still holding his stick, replies, “I’m so fucking frustrated.” The caption reads, “Before I know it, I’m back to square one”Panel 1 is a close-up of the man’s feet on the wooden board and the stick rubbing into the groove. Visible smoke is rising. A speech bubble says, “Okay, one more time.” The caption reads, “Happily, after many months of trial and error, I can mostly maintain a baseline level of functionality and avoid rock bottom.” Panel 2 shows the man grabbing the board with one hand and bracing himself against the boulder he’s sitting on with the other as though about to stand up. He says, “Here comes the coal!” The woman is looking over her shoulder at him. The caption reads, “Doing so means proactively limiting my activity levels and resting a lot - much more than seems necessary” In Panel 3, the man leans over the woman where she sits in front of a large boulder, holding a lightly smoking clump of grass in front of her face. One of his hands is braced on the boulder above her head while he gestures with the other and says, “Blow upwards - yes, that’s it, you got it.” The caption reads, “It demands constant, exhaustive attention to the most basic, incremental forms of self care - hydration, nutrition, movement, sleep” Panel 4 is a close up on the woman’s face as she blows upward into the smoking bundle of tinder. Her eyes are closed and her brows are furrowed. A speech bubble from the man says, “C,mon, c’mon…” The caption reads, “Tracking and maintaining these variables can be unbelievably tedious, but it’s worth it” Panel 5 shows a small fire in the middle of the panel with the man and the woman kneeling on either side of it, feeding small sticks into the flames. The man exclaims, “Oh yeah, baby!” The caption reads, “Because when all the ingredients fall into place, my energy rebounds and I start to feel pretty normal” Panel 6 shows a roaring campfire. A speech bubble says, “We’ve got fire!” The caption reads, “For a short period, at least, my body becomes a comfortable home for me once more”In the center of the page, a baboon walks on all fours, seeming to glance at the reader. Above the baboon, “ACT 2” is written in large, 3D block letters.Panel 1 shows the man and the woman sitting on the ground in their camp surrounded by trees and boulders. Text in the lower left corner indicates the day and time: “Day 4, Time 8:56AM.” The man, looking over at the woman, asks, “Did you get any sleep last night?” The woman, whose face is pressed into her knees, replies, “Ugh, maybe twenty minutes?” The caption reads, “The show’s second act (Extended Suffering) is all about endurance and the mental game” Panel 2 shows the man and the woman sitting on a boulder. Text in the lower left corner indicates the day and time: “Day 5, Time 7:37AM.” The man is examining a stick; the woman is leaning against the man’s back, her head down and her hair concealing her face. The man asks, “Want to come foraging with me?” The woman replies, “Honestly, I feel like shit. I need a nap.” The caption reads, “Very few participants succeed at primitive hunting and fishing, so most spend this part of the challenge in a state of inexorable decline” In Panel 3, the man is standing and looking down at the woman, who is laying on the ground in their camp. Text in the lower left corner indicates the day and time: “Day 8, Time 3:42PM.” The man, whose back is to the reader, asks, “Is this all the firewood you got while I was out?” The woman responds, “Yeah, I’m going to get some more in a bit.” The caption reads, “The vast majority of conflict at this point has to do with work and productivity.” Panel 4 shows the woman from the waist up where she’s laying on the ground. A speech bubble coming from the man says, “In a bit?” The woman’s eyes are closed. She replies, “Yep, I will go when I’m done resting.” The caption reads, “It turns out that when energy is the scarcest resource available, people start to care a lot about allocation of tasks and relative levels of capability.”Panel 1 is a shot of the man from the shoulders up, looking directly at the reader. He says, “I’ll be honest, I’m starting to get pretty frustrated with my partner.” The caption reads, “My own relationship to work and productivity has shifted massively since getting sick” Panel 2 shows the man from behind; he’s looking around a grassy landscape with several trees in the distance. He carries a long stick in his left hand and a short stick in his right, which he uses to scratch his back. He says, “She says she’s ‘conserving energy’ but like - someone’s gotta get the water. Someone’s gotta get firewood.” The caption reads, “I used to be a chronically anxious overachiever, always starting new projects and volunteering to take on extra responsibility” In Panel 3, the man stands on a path in front of a hill with his two sticks. There are several boulders and some tall grass in front of him and bushes and trees in the distance behind him. He says, “To me, survival isn’t about laying around, doing nothing.” The caption reads, “Partly, this was the result of a deeply ingrained Protestant work ethic that linked my sense of self worth directly to my productive output” Panel 4 shows the man walking from behind, still carrying both sticks. There’s no indication of what the landscape around him looks like except the grass at his feet. He says, “I want to leave here feeling like I really made the most of it, you know?” The caption reads, “But partly, it was the natural impulse of someone who genuinely loved to be challenged, and who took great joy in movement and activity” Panel 5 is a shot of the woman from the shoulders up, looking directly at the reader. She says, “I’m worried my partner is going to burn himself out.” The caption reads, “Now, out of necessity, I’ve become a pretty laid-back slacker, not to mention a bit of a flake” Panel 6 shows the woman sitting on the ground in camp. There are several small boulders in front of her, and some leaves and grass and larger boulders behind her. She says, “We have to pace ourselves if we’re going to make it to the end. This is a marathon, not a sprint.” The caption reads, “I say no to a lot of requests; I cancel plans at the last minute; I move slowly, and I don’t accomplish very much”In Panel 1, the woman glances over at the man with a smile and asks, “How you feeling this morning?” The man is holding the pot and staring down at it. He replies, “Not great, honestly.” There’s a tree trunk and a large boulder behind them, as well as a far-away line of trees in the distance. The caption reads, ”Even after more than a year, this is not a comfortable or natural-feeling state of being for me” Panel 2 shows the man from the shoulder up. His forehead is creased in a grimace. He says, “It feels like I hit a wall.” The caption reads, “I’m still getting used to negotiating between what I want to do, what I need to do, and what I actually can do” Panel 3 shows the woman from the chest up, looking concerned. She says, “Well, you have been pushing pretty hard. Maybe take it easy today?” The caption reads, “Some stubborn part of my brain clings persistently to the concept of “mind over matter,” though I know it is just magical thinking” Panel 4 shows the man reclining on one elbow in front of the tree trunk, boulder, and some foliage. His head is tipped back slightly. He says, “Ugh, I hate just sitting around.” The caption reads, “And so I regularly ignore or forget to honor my limits, choosing instead to do things that promise to make me feel more like myself” In Panel 5, the woman’s hair obscures her face. She says, “I know, I know. But you’ve gotta rest, okay?” The man, who is laying on the ground with one ankle crossed over the other knee and his hands folded across his chest, looks up at her. The caption reads, “Not until I experience the subsequent onslaught of intensifying symptoms do I remember that ‘feeling more like myself’ carries a heavy penalty these days” In Panel 6, the man is sitting up again, and the woman is walking away from their camp. The pot is on the campfire, steaming. The woman looks over her shoulder and says, “I’ll handle the chores. You take a nap.” The caption reads, “Humbled by my own body’s rebuke, I once again renew my commitment to slowing down, hoping that this time the lesson will stick”Two giraffes stand together, their bodies facing in opposite directions but their heads pointed at the reader. Above their heads, “ACT 3” is written in large, 3D block letters.Panel 1 shows a rocky cliff with the words “DAY 21” sitting atop the formation. The sky is full of clouds. The caption reads, “Act 3 (Extraction) is about perseverance and its payoff, and it’s the least relatable part of every episode” Panel 2 shows the man and woman sitting next to each other in front of the boulder. They’re both looking at the reader, and the woman is holding one end of a long stick. The man says, “Well, we made it to the end! Time to get the hell outta here.” The caption reads, “After all, suffering is time-bound on Naked and Afraid.” Panel 3 shows the man walking ahead of the woman through grass that comes up to their knees. The man says, “Keep your eyes peeled in this tall grass.” The woman holds a long walking stick. Ahead and to their left are two solitary trees. The caption reads, “Chronic illness has no such clearly defined schedule; there’s no ‘extraction’ out of Long COVID or ME/CFS” Panel 4 shows the man and the woman walking up a hill covered in various different types of brush, grass, and foliage. The man is far ahead of the woman now, and she says, “Oh, this is brutal.” The sun is high in the cloudless sky. The caption reads, “The fatigue, the pain, the sickness, the utterly disabling suite of systemic problems are an ongoing challenge”Panel 1 shows the man from the waist up, walking stick in hand. He looks down, asking, “Hey, you doing okay?” The caption reads, “But in life, as in the show, the attention and care of others does go a long way to making the experience more bearable” Panel 2 shows the woman in a crouch, her hair falling over her face and her eyes closed. She says, “Yeah, just feeling a little lightheaded.” The caption reads, “Of all the treatments and interventions I’ve tried, nothing has done me as much good as the consistent, gentle support of my loved ones” In Panel 3, the man moves to sit next to the woman on the ground. They’re in front of a large bush with two trees growing from the middle of it. The man says, “Let’s sit for a minute.” The woman says, “I’m sorry, I feel like I’m just slowing you down.” The caption reads, “I’ll admit that there are times the strain of feeling like a burden or a disappointment overwhelms me and makes me want to retreat from the world” In Panel 4, the man wraps his arm around the woman in a comforting gesture and pulls her head against his shoulder. He says, “Hey now, none of that. We’re a team.” The woman, who is gripping her shin loosely with one hand, asks, “But don’t you wish you could finish faster?” The caption reads, “But dwelling in this shame, it turns out, is useful to no one” Panel 5 shows the man standing up, bracing himself with his walking stick and reaching out with the other hand to help the woman to her feet. He says, “What I want is for both of us to finish, together.” The caption reads, “No matter how much I struggle with my new limits, life keeps moving forward - and I’m moving with it” Panel 6 shows two small figures moving through tall grass. A speech bubble says, “This isn’t the kind of thing you want to go through alone.” There’s a line of trees in the middle distance and a large hill on the horizon. The caption reads, “I’m grateful to be moving, however fitfully and imperfectly - and above all, I’m grateful to those who are moving with me”“The dialogue and imagery in this story are based on reference material culled from dozens of episodes of the Discovery Channel reality television program Naked and Afraid, particularly ‘Terror in Tanzania’ (S1E2), ‘Damned in Africa’ (S2E2), and ‘Primal Fear’ (S3E2).

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